Disclaimer: This tastes delicious, but if you have Thai friends, don’t ask for their honest opinion.
1) Put some rice on to steam. If you don’t know how to steam rice, boil it or open a packet or whatever. I don’t care. But the time the rice takes to steam is the outer limits on cooking time. 18 minutes from a cold start.
2) Chop up some garlic. As much as you can be arsed to chop up. Mince it until you’re bored.
3) In a wok, big pan, or whatever you can grab, fry the garlic in some oil. Add as much super-hot Sriracha as you think you can bear, or twice as much green-top Sriracha as necessary. The important thing here is to add some spicy sauce.
4) Add a can of coconut milk. You now have a delicious sauce.
5) Boil everything else in the delicious coconut spicy sauce. You can use a pre-cut stir-fry, or frag some veggies, or throw in leftovers. I won’t judge you. I don’t actually give a fuck what you eat, to be honest, as long as it’s not made of people, and you enjoy it. Lime zest or juice is good, and if you have a G&T habit you’ll have some you need to use up, but fuckit, it’s your decision.
5a) If you’re boiling meat, cut it up small and put it in first, to be sure it’s cooked. If it ends up overcooked, change that next time.
6) Eat. Optionally you can serve it first.